EMPATHY, SYMPATHY,
KINDNESS, COMPASSION NEWSLETTER #1.
November 21, 2013. Compiled by Dick Bennett for a Culture of Peace,
Justice, and Ecological Caring.
Recent Compassion Games
events inspired for me a time of reflection about the meaning of compassion and gratitude for the
opportunity. --Dick
Newsletters
Index:
Contents #1
DEFINITIONS
ORGANIZATIONS
LOCAL
Compassion
Fayetteville
Compassion
Games
Peace
at Home
NATIONAL, INTERNATIONAL
United
Nations
O’Brien, Buddhism
Karen
Armstrong, Charter for Compassion
Tuttle, World Peace Diet
Barbara
Lee, Compassion and Choices
The
Center for Victims of Torture
Totten, Post-Genocide Education Fund, Children
of Genocide
MVFR, Murder Victims’ Families for Reconciliation
ETHICS
Albert Schweitzer, Reverence for
Life (the subject of many of Schweitzer’s books and speeches)
Barry, Unmaking
War, Remaking Men: Increase Empathy, Decrease Aggression, Violence, and Wars
Definitions from Random House Webster’s College Dictionary,
1991
.
“Compassion:
a feeling of deep sympathy
and sorrow for someone struck by misfortune, accompanied by a desire to
alleviate the suffering.”
“Sympathy: 1. harmony of or agreement
in feeling, as between persons or on the part of one person with respect to
another. 2. the harmony of feeling existing between
persons of like tastes or opinion or of congenial dispositions. 3. the ability to share the feelings of
another, esp. in sorrow or trouble; compassion; commiseration (8
definitions in all plus several synonyms, a stimulating word).
“Empathy: 1. the identification with or vicarious
experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, etc., of another. 2. the
imaginative ascribing to an object of one’s feelings or attitudes [?this defin.
sounds like projection --Dick]. . . Syn. See Sympathy.”
“Kind: adj.
1. of a good or benevolent nature or disposition, as a person;
compassionate…3. considerate or helpful; humane…”
“Humanitarian:
1. having concern for or
helping to improve the welfare and happiness of people. 2. of or pertaining to ethical or theological
humanitarianism.” (2 more, related, definitions are given).
So?
Compassion and Sympathy defin. #3 are similar, differing only in degree
(compassion is “deep sympathy”), and both are aspects of Empathy defin.
#1. Humanitarianism brings those
feelings and identifications to action, not just a desire to alleviate suffering but actually acting to do
so.
The compiler of the “sympathy” entry goes
on to link the synonyms empathy, compassion, and pity, which “denote the tendency or capacity to share the feelings of
others,” and then the compiler distinguishes their more precise meanings. A very rare mini-essay for any standard
dictionary. --Dick
LOCAL ORGANIZATIONS (i.e.
a brief sample from NW Arkansas, where dozens of organizations identify with
others, esp. those in distress and needing care)
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Faith and Spirituality Team Presents
Compassion Café
Compassion Fayetteville has scheduled a Compassion Conversation Café for
Saturday, November 23rd from 10 am - 12 noon in Parish Hall at
Here the compassionate
stories of giving and receiving from a panel consisting of people from a
variety of backgrounds discussing the nuances of practicing compassion in
their lives and how it can be expressed in Fayetteville and Northwest
Arkansas. The panel moderated by David Williams consists of Don Bennett of
Tricycle Farms; Yassamin Mirdamadi, UA Director of Testing Services and
International Student Issues; XXX from Seven Hills Homeless Shelter; Dawn
Jones of Washington Plaza Food Pantry; Liz Finan of Circle of Life; Jaclyn
Keeter, Program Director Faith in Action Senior Center.
Compassion
Fayetteville Conversation Café is an open, hosted conversation and is
designed for people to gather together to learn what compassion is and how to
better express it in our community. At a Conversation Cafe there is nothing
to join, no homework, no agenda, just a simple process that helps to shift us
from small talk to BIG talk, i.e., conversations that will make a difference.
Background
Compassion
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GLANCE BACK AT 2012
Compassion Fayetteville,
Fayetteville Forward Inclusion Group, 2012.
Pattie Williams,
443-2096
www.charterforcompassion.org to
sign Charter
Course on COMPASSION,
12-weeks Thursdays, Feb. 21-May 9, 2012, 6 to 8, $85. Servant
Leadership School St. Paul
From: Elise Burt <ekburt@aol.com>
Date: Wed, Aug 21, 2013 at 10:06 AM
Subject: Compassion Games
The Compassion Games, “Survival of the Kindest” 2013
from September 11th, 2013 through
September 21st, 2013.
Will you join us?
Public informational meeting Wednesday, August 28
Learn how you and/or your organization
can participate
Walker Rm, Fayetteville
Sponsored by Compassion Fayetteville
All are encouraged to attend
The games are part of the International
Compassionate Cities (http://compassionateaction.org/) movement and are
designed to help, heal and inspire, make communities safer, kinder, more just
and better places to live.
The games are
being facilitated by members of the Compassion Fayetteville planning team. We
are focusing primarily on doing random acts of compassion/kindness and writing
and reporting stories of compassion.
By participating,
players are called upon to perform acts of service and kindness in our
neighborhoods, on the job, in service-providing agencies, and wherever their
daily journey takes them for those they know, those unknown, for the Earth or
for themselves.
There are no
winners or losers in the Compassion Games. Instead, winners multiply the more
the games are played. Compassion Games and activities are designed to have
social impact, to help us try new things, and build relationships and
trust. They are an example of a cultural invention that demonstrates what
is possible when we use coopetition to cooperate and to
compete with each other.
So far, this year's contenders are:
Atlanta,
Cincinnati, Fayetteville, Gurgaon, India, Houston, LGBT, Los
Angeles, Louisville, Milwaukee, Nashville, New York, Orange Co.,CA, Phoenix , San Francisco , and
Seattle
Contacts: Nancy
Harris nanghar@gmail.com, Pattie Williams zipattie@me.com, Connie Crisp cocrisp@gmail.com or Kati Street
We invite you to open the PDF Attachment included in this e
mail. Feel free to use this to print out and post as a way to help us
spread the word.
 |
See below for more
information about Armstrong’s Compassionate Charter
PEACE AT HOME
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Our mission is to
END family violence by empowering victims to survive and thrive by nurturing
their self-determination and courage; and to promote healthy relationships and
communities through education, outreach, and advocacy.
We believe that Northwest Arkansas can be a national model for a
community where every person who seeks safety and freedom from violence has the
support and resources they need to obtain and maintain a violence-free home and
heal from the devastating effects of domestic violence.
Peace at Home Family Shelter’s 2011 Annual Report
Peace at Home
Family Shelter is fully committed to transparency and accountability. We invite
you to review our 2011 annual report and our most recent 990 tax return.
By Dick Bennett. Scarcely any of OMNI’s projects or
individual actions has lacked compassion as a motive and a method. “Compassion:
a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for someone struck by misfortune,
accompanied by a desire to alleviate the suffering.” (Random
House Webster’s College Dictionary).
Naturally, most of our programs are local; people tend to empathize more
with people they know—family, friends, city, state, region, nation. Fayetteville
Vegetarian Potluck (sympathy for animals)
Snowden
Drones (#12)
Israel-Palestinians (#9)
Hammarskjold and UN
Domestic Violence
Gandhi’s Birthday
UN Food Day and Hunger Day
Just War Theory
Support the Troops (bring them home)
Vietnam War
NATIONAL AND INTERNATIONAL
ORGANIZATIONS (again only a tiny sample)
United
Nations: We the peoples...
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Buddhism
and Compassion
Compassion, Wisdom, and the Path
See More About
·
prajna
·
karuna
The Buddha taught that to realize enlightenment, a person must
develop two qualities: wisdom and compassion. Wisdom and compassion are
sometimes compared to two wings that work together to enable flying, or two
eyes that work together to see deeply.
In the West, we're taught to think of "wisdom" as
something that is primarily intellectual and "compassion" as
something that is primarily emotional, and that these two things are separate
and even incompatible. We're led to believe that fuzzy, sappy emotion gets in
the way of clear, logical wisdom. But this is not a Buddhist understanding.
The Sanskrit word usually translated
as "wisdom" isprajna (in
Pali, panna). I understand
this word could also be translated as "consciousness," "discernment,"
or "insight." The many schools of Buddhism understand prajna somewhat
differently, but generally we could say that prajna is understanding or
discernment of the Buddha's teaching, especially the teaching of anatta, no self.
The word usually translated as
"compassion" iskaruna, which is understood to mean active
sympathy or a willingness to bear the pain of others. In practice, prajna gives
rise to karuna, and karuna gives rise to prajna. Truly, you can't have one
without the other. They are a means to realizing enlightenment, and they are
also enlighenment manifested.
Compassion as Training
In Buddhism, the ideal of practice is to selflessly act to
alleviate suffering wherever it appears. You may argue it is impossible to eliminate
suffering, and maybe it is, yet we're to respond anyway.
What does being nice to others have to do with enlightenment? For
one thing, it helps us realize that "individual me" and
"individual you" are mistaken ideas. And as long as we're stuck in
the idea of "what's in it for me?" we are not yetwise.
In Being
Upright: Zen and the Bodhisattva Precepts, Soto Zen teacher Reb Anderson
wrote, "Reaching the limits of practice as a separate personal activity,
we are ready to receive help from the compassionate realms beyond our
discriminating awareness."
Reb Anderson continued, "We realize the intimate connection
between the conventional truth and the ultimate truth through the practice of
compassion. It is through compassion that we become thoroughly grounded in the
conventional truth and thus prepared to receive the ultimate truth. Compassion
brings great warmth and kindness to both perspectives. It helps us to be
flexible in our interpretation of the truth, and teaches us to give and receive
help in practicing the precepts."
In The Essence
of the Heart Sutra, His Holiness the Dalai Lama wrote,
"According to Buddhism, compassion is an aspiration, a
state of mind, wanting others to be free from suffering. It's not passive --
it's not empathy alone -- but rather an empathetic altruism that actively
strives to free others from suffering. Genuine compassion must have both wisdom
and lovingkindness. That is to say, one must understand the nature of the
suffering from which we wish to free others (this is wisdom), and one must
experience deep intimacy and empathy with other sentient beings (this is
lovingkindness)."
No Thanks
Have you ever seen someone do something courteous and then get
angry for not being properly thanked? True compassion has no expectation of
reward, even a simple "thank you," attached to it. Expecting a reward
maintains the idea of a separate self and a separate other.
The ideal of dana paramita -- the perfection of giving -- is "no giver, no
receiver." For this reason, traditionally begging monks receive alms
silently and do not express thanks. Of course, in the conventional world there
are givers and receivers, but it's important to remember that the act of giving
is not possible without receiving. Thus, givers and receivers create each
other, and one is not superior to the other.
That said, feeling and expressing gratitude chips away at our
selfishness, so unless you are a begging monk it's all right to say "thank
you" when appropriate.
Developing Compassion
To draw on an old joke, you get to be more compassionate the
same way you get to Carnegie Hall -- practice.
It's already been noted that compassion arises from wisdom, just
as wisdom arises from compassion. If you're feeling neither especially wise nor
compassionate you may feel the whole project is hopeless. But the nun and
teacher Pema Chodron says, "start where you are." Whatever mess your
life is right now is the soil from which enlightenment may grow.
In truth, although you may take one
step at a time, Buddhism is not a "one step at a time" process. Each
of the eight parts of the Eightfold Path support all the other parts. Every
step integrates all the steps.
That said, most people begin by better understanding their own
suffering, which takes us back to prajna, wisdom. Usually meditation or other
mindfulness practices are the means by which people begin to develop this
understanding. As our self-delusions dissolve, we become more sensitive to the
suffering of others. As we are more sensitive to the suffering of others, our
self-delusions dissolve further.
Compassion for Yourself
After all this talk of selflessness, it may seem odd to end with
compassion for oneself. But it's important not to run away from our own
suffering.
Pema Chodron said, "In order to have
compassion for others, we have to have compassion for ourselves." She
writes that in Tibetan Buddhism there is a practice called tonglen, which is a
kind of meditation practice for helping us connect to our own suffering and the
suffering of others.
"Tonglen reverses the usual logic of avoiding suffering and
seeking pleasure and, in the process, we become liberated from a very ancient
prison of selfishness. We begin to feel love both for ourselves and others and
also we being to take care of ourselves and others. It awakens our compassion
and it also introduces us to a far larger view of reality. It introduces us to
the unlimited spaciousness that Buddhists call shunyata. By doing the practice,
we begin to connect with the open dimension of our being."
Again, we see the way compassion "introduces us to a far
larger view of reality." This larger view is seen by the two eyes of
wisdom and compassion.
Suggested Reading
Suggested Reading
Suggested Reading
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COMPASSION & CHOICES
For choice and care at
the end of life: the right of terminally
ill US
Barbara Lee, President P0 Box
101810
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The Blessing of a Good
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Madison Shockley, of Carlsbad ,
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touching essay tells the story of a woman dedicated to her family’s health and
well-being and the most loving and diligent caretaker a father could hope
for. more
“A Calling” to Help
Gretchen
Deroche’s early work within the AIDS community led her to her calling as one of
the founders of the end-of-life choice movement in Washing
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CVT joins a coalition of human
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CVT Director of the Washington
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Meet Stephen, physical therapist with CVT’s Nairobi
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Watch this incredible song written and performed by the
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survivors who received care at our CVT Nairobi healing initiative.
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CVT counselor Run Afey spoke with InterNews on June 26. Run is a
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SEE OMNI’S newsletters on torture:
OMNI TORTURE WAR CRIMES NEWSLETER (8 nos. by July 2013)
UN TORTURE AWARENESS MONTH, JUNE
UN INTERNATIONAL DAY IN SUPPORT OF VICTIMS OF TORTURE, JUNE 26
UN INTERNATIONAL JUSTICE DAY, JULY 17
THIS IS WHAT
KEEPS ME FOCUSED WHEN DARKNESS OVERTAKES ME
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Dedication
To Patrick Murinzi Minega
and all other
children victimized by
genocide, war, and violence.
Dear All,
Invariably, most serious
scholars of genocide studies are ultimately asked: How can you do this work?
What keeps you going in light of the darkness? The horror?
Many have also asked me:
what prompts you to go to such places as the Nuba
Mountains when the area continues to
be bombed on a daily basis or to such all but God forsaken places as Goz Beida,
along the Chad/Darfur, Sudan
My answer is staring at
you in the face: the above photo of a little guy (Patrick) wish I could say I
had met on one of the thousands of hills in Rwanda
It's also why I firmly
believe that perhaps the most important aspect of my life as far as genocide
studies is concerned, and as far as being a human being is concerned, is my
co-founding The Post Genocide Education
Fund with Rafiki Ubaldo, a survivor of the Rwandan genocide. As many of you
know, PGEF provides full scholarships and living expenses to young survivors of
genocide across the globe who wish to earn a university diploma. (Thus far,
we've sponsored students from Rwanda ;
Darfur , Sudan ;
and the Nuba Mountains ,
Sudan
In closing, I wish to
share an excerpt from the introduction of my new and forthcoming edited
book, The Plight and Fate of Children During and Following Genocide,
in which I speak about gazing at Patrick's countenance for the first
time:
Introduction
Samuel
Totten
Generally, when I make my
way through museums dealing with
genocide I fi nd myself
feeling sad and angry but I forge on and make my
way through the exhibits.
Th is, I have done, time and again, beginning
back in 1978 when I fi
rst visited Yad Vashem, the Holocaust Martyrs’
and Heroes’ Remembrance
Authority in Jerusalem , the US
genocide located in the
basement of a church in Deir et Zor (Syria
2005. But then, in 2006,
as I made my way through the museum at the
Kigali Genocide Memorial
Centre in Rwanda
Wing,” and within ten
minutes my heart was shattered. I had only managed
to view a tenth of the
photographs and accompanying information
in the room, but I simply
could not go on. I literally wanted to scream
and fl ay away at a world
that would allow such horrifi c injustice and
atrocities to be
perpetrated.
I shall never forget the
last photo and captions that ripped my heart
apart. It was the
sweetest picture of a young man, Patrick, seven years
of age, I’ve ever seen.
His smile and bright sparkling eyes exuded joy.
Th en, I read the
captions:
Name: Patrick Murinzi
Minega
Favorite Sport: Swimming
Favorite Sweets:
Chocolate
Favorite Person: His Mum
Personality: Gregarious
Cause of Death:
Bludgeoned with Club
Over the years (during
which I served as a Fulbright Scholar at the
Centre for Confl ict
Management at the National University of Rwanda,
and on subsequent
research trips when Rafi ki Ubaldo, a survivor of the
1994 genocide, and I conducted
interviews for our book, We
Cannot
Forget: Interviews with
Survivors of the 1994 Genocide in Rwanda
I returned to the Kigali
Genocide Memorial Centre several times
in order to try to view
all of the photographs and captions in the
“Children’s Wing.” Each
and every time I’d only get so far before I was
overwhelmed with sorrow,
and, yet again, would depart without having
viewed the entire
exhibit. To this day I’ve not viewed the entire
exhibit.
Th e killing of infants,
preschoolers, school-age children, and preadolescents
should be beyond the
pale. Unfortunately, and sadly, it is
not—at least not for
those who are apt to committing crimes against
humanity and genocide.
And it’s not just killing that the latter engage
in, but also the torture
and butchery of babies and young children.
When perpetrators kill
infants and children there is often a sadistic
tone and tenor to their
actions. Th ey seem to enjoy exhibiting their
perverted power over the
victim population. Th ey seem to enjoy crushing
the spirits of those
parents and siblings who are forced to watch
their children and babies
and young brothers and sisters, respectively,
be brutalized in the most
horrifi c ways possible.
THIS, THEN, IS WHY I AM
FIERCELY DEDICATED TO SEEING CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY AND GENOCIDE STOPPED IN
THEIR DEADLY TRACKS, AND IT IS WHAT DRIVES ME TO DO WHAT I DO.
Am heading back to the Nuba Mountains Sudan
to South Sudan in search of food and many are
literally dropping and dying each and every day. Last week a colleague I am
working with to insert food into the region reported that he witnessed --
IN A SINGLE DAY -- 20 individuals (mainly elderly men
and woman and infants and young children) who had keeled over and perished
along the way. That is obscene. Unconscionable. And it's way I've been
haranguing Members of Congress, The White House and the United States Holocaust
Memorial Museum, among others, to yank off their purposely placed blinders and
OPEN THEIR EYES to the reality of the world we all live in and do something to
try to ameliorate the horrors -- NOW, not next week, not next month, not next
year. Each day that goes by another human being, like you and I, like your
children and grandchildren, will perish in that desert wondering why no one but
no one has reached out to them as those with the means would surely wish others
would do for them should they find themselves in such dire straits.
Sorry for the soapboxing.
That was not my intent!
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for what you do to try to make the world a better place.
warmly,
sam
MVFR
News & Updates
Dear Friend,
As many of you know, Murder Victims' Families for Reconciliation
(MVFR) is a passionate community led by family members of murder victims.
Members of our community support one another by encouraging those affected by
the loss of loved ones through violence to share their stories in hopes of
educating the public to create social change.
Speaking out after such tremendous loss can be difficult and
often painful. But many of us have learned that sharing our experiences can
be healing and can serve as powerful and liberating instruments of change.
Telling my story, and fighting for equality and justice, helps me cope and
guides me forward.
My father, Johnnie Banks, Sr., was murdered during an
attempted robbery just before Thanksgiving in 1986. I invite you to hear how,
in memory of Dad, I came to be a member of MVFR in this three-part audio
series. Below you will hear part one, during which I speak of life before my
father was killed.
Your encouragement and support help strengthen my voice, as
well as the thousands of family members of murder victims all across
I ask you to help spread the word about MVFR and the harm that
violence causes to families and communities. Also, please consider making a
gift to support MVFR as part of the national #GivingTuesday campaign. These funds
will directly enable us to help more murder victims' family members tell
their stories in the media and in our print and online publication series, Voices
Please stay tuned for the second installment of my three-part
story next week. By listening, you give meaning to my words and help bring
the strength of my story to life.
Sincerely,
Rosemary Lytle
Board Chair Elect
P.S. On December 3rd pay
special attention to our Facebook Page and Twitter feed. We will
be thanking Members who have worked especially hard this year and encourage
you to share your own posts of gratitude for our Members and their work.
Please include the hashtag #GivingTuesday in your posts.
*This audio clip was recorded as part of MVFR’s collaboration
with StoryCorps, an
independent nonprofit whose mission is to provide people of all backgrounds
and beliefs with the opportunity to record, share, and preserve the stories
of our lives.
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MVFR's members are
persons whose loved ones have been taken by murder and who believe the death
penalty is a response to murder that only creates more harm. MVFR members
help their friends, co-workers, media and policymakers understand the
negative impact that capital punishment has on the families of murder victims
and the executed. MVFR is a non-partisan, 501(c)3 nonprofit organization that
offers public education and advocacy on the death penalty and the needs of
murder victim family members.
More information about our work can
be found at www.mvfr.org
or by contacting Marcelle Clowes at mclowes@mvfr.org
877-896-4702 |
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ETHICS
Albert Schweitzer, Reverence
for Life
“The Problem of Ethics in the Evolution of Human
Thought.” Schweitzer delivered this
short address in 1952. It is included
in Jacques Feschotte’s Albert Schweitzer,
1955. I have been unable to find a
copy online.
“Ethics is only complete when it exacts compassion towards
every living thing.” (Feschotte, 127).
Barry, Kathleen. Unmaking War, Remaking Men: How Empathy Can Reshape Our Politics, Our
Soldiers, and Ourselves. Phoenix
END EMPATHY, COMPASSION NEWSLETTER #1
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